On Sun, Feb 13, 2000 at 01:22:26PM -0600, --- wrote:
> Can u tell me how to rite perl script in Windoz

My reply:

The perl script rite in Windoz is complicated and lengthy and "asks that of the human psyche that it cannot give in whole." (The Rites of Windoz, John Marwell, Doubleday Press). It is unclear how much of the rite was ever actually practised and how much is simply legend and lore, but this much is clear: all who have attempted to conduct the rites in their entirety have been reduced to vegetables. Most experts are agreed that one must tie Motorola NCX200056a 24-pin DSP chips to the ends of the tails of four ruminants before commencing and that the lyrics to "Larry Wall, or How I Grew A Beard", as sung by Richard Stallman at the 23rd Usenix Conference in 1992, must play in the background during at least the first two phases of the rites. Whether this should be done only when the moon is in its fifth day of waning is an issue that has caused deep schisms in the script riteing community. A common tenet guiding these disparate groups is the belief in the Supreme U, generally believed to represent the Untypedness central to perl, but even this thread seems a tenuous one now, as evidenced in the banners that asked provocatively at the last Symposium of Theoretical Algorithms in Computer Science at Stanford University, "Can U tell me how to rite perl script?" Matters have been complicated by recent research at the University of Kansas, which support the theory that the only way to solve this problem is to engineer a hurricane, hold an Irish terrier in one's left hand and shout while the gale blows all around you, "Can U tell me how to rite perl script in wind, Oz?" It seems that this is one controversy that will not be resolved in the near future.