It's been two weeks since that fateful day
We picked up notice of a vessel headed our way
One week since the ship appeared
And even then I thought that they were looking kinda weird
Five days since they beamed on down
Intent on checking out the pleasures of a port town
Yesterday we decided that
Whatever may come, they're all banned from Argo
Out through the streets they started spreading
Through byways threading
Intent on checking every joint out
It's never far to a bar
You simply follow any tar
On R&R; they've several places they can point out
High expectations of the city;
It seemed a pity
We couldn't quite accommodate them
Still, seeking thrills is like an artform
You get a start, form
A list of pastimes, then you rate them
Got a tip the skipper whipped a pippin of an orgy up, the trip
Involved five partners each of different worlds and sexes
Sent around the cops to put a stop to him and drop him in the hopper
But the ship arranged a transportation nexus
I'm getting tired of the antics of the 'wrecking crew'
Trying hard to survive till they're quite through
Somewhat shocked at what they find recreational
Call me a prude, but I've seen the repair bill
It's getting time that they were rounded up and headed out
It's pretty clear that we don't want them around
It's been four days since that Doctor tried
To stir up all the whores and have them riot outside
Three days he was in the pen
Determined to have fun until we let him out again
Two days till his shipmates found
Their medic with a bunch of hookers in the city pound
Yesterday, when they beamed him free
I was merely relieved that they got him off Argo
Bottles a-broken in barroom battles
Drink after drink till your brainpan rattles
Half of the crew barely standing
The shuttle landing
Precisely on the roof of City Hall
The officer tossing back some green stuff
'Twas pretty mean stuff
And left him passed out in an alleyway
What happened next almost made me choke up
But when he woke up
He sure had a lot of things to say
Pretty soon some Klingons started flinging jibes and bringing up
The things they'd do to anybody looking for some trouble
Half the spacers cheered and raised their beer, said "never fear -
Just come on here" - the Klingons took one look, then took off on the double
We made a blunder when we let that bloody spaceship land
Soon as we get them off here, they're all banned
They were the kind of crew to make a person say 'enough!'
Didn't give a damn, and they liked to play rough
They've badly outstayed any welcome that they might've had
Our hospitality has come to an end
It's been four days since our net was hacked
The strip clubs are all empty; the phone booths have been jam packed
Three days since the gang of plants
Seduced the gov'nor's wife, his sisters, cousins and his aunts
Two days since the Vulcans who
Complained that they'd been drugged, and what did we intend to do?
Yesterday, we had had enough
And all of that crew are now banned from Argo
Yes, forever more they're all banned from Argo
Yes, forever more they're all banned from Argo
What do you mean, a starfleet embargo?