Louise Bremner wrote:
>
> Of course, there are all those anonymous rubbery things that get passed
> around as snacks, but I think they're all fishy.

Adventures in Japanese Cuisine

They're slimy, they're squishy, they're all a little fishy
And in every dish we will be serving them as snacks
They're plastic and rubber, they're bits of squid and blubber
Is that some sort of grub, or has it just been dipped in wax?

  Here comes an appetiser that will make you lose your lunch
  Wash it down with sake if you're beaten to the punch
  It's crunchy, it's pasty, I wonder if it's tasty
  It's Japanese cuisine, and this is not a test!

Here's sushi, here's maki, here's something teriyaki
A little bit of kaki and wasabi on the side
There's nori, and shiso, and quite a bit of miso
And finger food can be so unappealing when it's fried

  It's always an adventure when you venture out to eat
  If you don't want to risk it you may miss out on a treat!
  It's undercooked seafood, and stuff that might just be food
  It's Japanese cuisine, we only serve the best
  (We hope that you're impressed)

Apologies to everyone concerned :) The structure owes as much to the Tom Smith parody as it does to the original; I also displayed considerably less self control than the aforementioned Mr. Smith by lifting the first line entire. See here for details.