Background: The Rice physics department grades exams for large common courses by means of a grading pool of grad students - the day after the exam a bunch of us congregate in a room and work our way through the papers (whose number and quality have both been subjected to considerable poetic license :))
'Why are you gathered here today?' a passing student cried
'We're grading Physics 101', the TAs all replied
'Why need you start so early on?' the student asked, appalled
'There's several hundred papers here' the TAs all but bawled
For we're grading freshman papers, you can see the massive pile
We're grading freshman papers, and it's going to take a while
The marking scheme's been drawn up, and the answers are on file
And we're grading freshman papers through the morning
'What makes you look so glum, so glum?', the student asked again
'These freshmen really bombed the test', a TA moaned in pain
'Why don't they make it easier?' the puzzled student said
'It's straight out of the homework sheets!' the TA shook his head
Yes we're grading freshman papers, and they haven't got a clue
The problems are straightforward, but they don't know what to do
I've gone through this a hundred times - I've worked each question through
Oh, we're grading freshman papers through the morning
'Why are those people laughing?' asked the student, peering in
'You ought to see these answers' they responded with a grin
'Why do they take the course at all?' he asked them in reply
'Their majors all require it' someone answered with a sigh
Oh, we're grading freshman papers, it's enough to make one laugh
These students are the bane of all the TAs and the staff
They're lucky there's a curve, so we can pass at least a half
And we're grading freshman papers through the morning
'Who is that tearing at his hair?' the student carried on
'Why, he's the course instructor', said a TA, with a yawn
'Why does he look so out of sorts?' the student had to know
'He thought they under*stood* the work', the TA whispered low
For we're grading freshman papers, and it's not a lot of fun
We're grading freshman papers, and we're stuck here till we're done
And somewhere there is laughter, and a brightly shining sun
But we're grading freshman papers through the morning
All people portrayed in this poem are fictional, and bear no resemblance to any actual freshman, living or dead. No freshmen were harmed in the making of this poem.