"Twenty foot penis painted on ancient hill figure"
Way up in the Sussex Downs
Some merry pranksters did the rounds
And vanished ere the early light of dawn
Locals gape and tourists snigger
Seems that prehistorical figure
Got a giant penis painted on
Giant penis, giant penis
Painted on the figure on the hill
Greeted with a loud 'hooray!'
For though he ain't the Queen of the May
He sure gave the celebrants a thrill
Shocked a troupe of Morris dancers
Left them looking round for answers
Flabbergasted at the new design
Said "although we've not a clue, it's
Certain that *we* didn't do it -
When we saw him last month he was fine!"
Giant penis, giant penis
Fully twenty feet from end to end
Someone felt the Long Man's presence
Cried out for that bold tumescence
Let's just hope it doesn't start a trend
Was it just some mindless vandal
Looking to create a scandal?
Could it be some Celtic Beltaine rite?
Maybe the appended limb'll
Make him a fertility symbol
Either way, it sure is impolite
Giant penis, giant penis
Seems to have a White Witch mighty vexed
All this time he was assumin'
Long Man Wilmington was a woman
Gonna have the perpetrator hexed!