This was inspired when someone on the Niven list brought up the Geek Chart and I naturally wondered where filkers fell on it. Someone else suggested 'right at the bottom', or, in other words, right below
"People Who Write Erotic Versions of Star Trek, Where All the Characters are Furries, Like Kirk is an Ocelot or Something, and They Put a Furry Version of Themselves as the Star of the Story"Well, if I'm going to occupy a place at the bottom of the hierarchy, I'm by glod going to earn it, so...
When we sneaked into Argo Port we had a brilliant plan
To seek a brand new thrill or two and get around the ban
We whipped up a transmogrifier, dialed it to 'fur' [*]
And beamed down into town, where we created quite a stir
And we're banned from Argo yet again
Banned from Argo, this is getting to be a pain
We looked all cute and furry, we assured them we were tame
But Argo didn't want us just the same
Our captain was an ocelot, or something of that ilk
His markings were exquisite, and his fur was soft as silk
He said he was on R&R, with nothing much to do -
Apart from half the residents of Argo City Zoo
Our proper, cool first officer was rather shocked to find
A rabbit's body not exactly governed by its mind
We found him in a backroom with a door that wouldn't lock
And a line of eager women winding twice around the block
Our engineer said loudly that he hoped we didn't think
His phocine form affected his ability to drink
He proved his point repeatedly in every bar and pub
And only paused a moment when he walked into a club
Transformed into a timber wolf, our nurse looked quite a treat
She went in search of something that would send her into heat
She came back looking mad, with eyes aglow and tail atwitch
And a mouthful of the idiot who had dared to call her 'bitch'
Our doctor was a splendid sight no lady would disdain
When prowling as a lion, out in all his might and mane
He staggered home exhausted, with a smile a metre wide
And a cheerful little rainbow coloured tattoo saying 'Pride'
Now Mary Sue, our bard, was quite the hero of this tale
The range of her experiences would make the others pale
To sing about them all would take up several verses more
But modesty compels me to be silent on that score
[*] alternate: 'set the dial to fur', depending on how many syllables you pronounce 'dial' with.
