Ah, Scotsman jokes :)
Before the Roman came to Rye
Or down the swirling Severn strode
The English were a peaceful race
Of rolling drunkards smeared in woad
Not so the savage Highland Picts, as fierce as they were small
And that is why the Romans built the Wall
Before a Scotsman rode to war
He took a lot of care while dressing
And long ago discovered that
The kilt indeed was quite a blessing
It left him free to ride a horse, to fight, to scream and leap
And let him sneak unnoticed up on sheep
Oh, sing of broadsword, axe and shield
Of midnight mare and blood red roan
Of kilted men upon the field
Who fought to keep the land their own
Who charged the massed foeman's ranks with horn and battle cry
Who made them die
So now if you behold a Scot
Enkilted in ancestral tartan
He doesn't have a lot to prove
About the wars he's taken part in
No matter if in combat he is deemed the lesser man
The kilt maintains the honour of his clan
And now that every Scotsman has
A sanguinary kilt in store
It ought to be a reason not
To ride to battle any more
And concentrate on matters meet for modern bards to sing
Like what to wear beneath the bloody thing
So sing in new and ancient lays
The garment that defies compare
That from a Scotsman's early days
Accompanies him everywhere
On which the blood and guts of countless thousands have been spilt
The Scotsman's kilt