Unabashedly silly, and written way back when it was first revealed that Archer had a dog along, and a beagle no less. I thought I'd wait until I'd actually seen an episode or two of Enterprise and rework it, but since the former doesn't look likely to happen any time soon...
Seasons change, and shows grow strange
And Trek goes backwards in time
Mankind's taken a quantum leap
Ships setting forth for the Outer Deep
And thus starts the long, slow climb
But the beagle has lifted, tell the world war ace
Pets shall dog our footsteps into space
Klingons lurk in the outer murk
And Vulcans wherever you turn
The things you can do with a latex brow
(And what is a Suliban anyhow?)
We sure have a lot to learn
But the beagle has lifted, look at Archer's face
Humans are a sentimental race
Write the spec for some brand new tech
(So what if it's set in the past?)
Watch the shiny new hyperdrive
Cross space at around warp four point five
And look for a foe to blast
And the beagle has lifted, watch it rise to grace
Let's all hope the ratings follow pace